random all time favorites (30.12.2011) – aber noch nicht die leichenschmaus-playlist:
marvin gaye mercy mercy me (the ecology)
patrick bruel pour la vie
xavier naidoo dieser weg
warren g feat. nate dogg regulate
fine young cannibals i’m not the man i used to be
carole king you’ve got a friend
counting crows mr. jones
robbie williams strong
herbert grönemeyer der weg
bruce springsteen my hometown
jay-z (feat. alicia keys) empire state of mind
queen killer queen
the police every breath you take
whitney houston my love is your love
carole king so far away
elvis presley in the ghetto
patrick bruel qui a le droit
joshua kadison jessie
everything but the girl the only living boy in new york
george michael don’t let the sun go down on me (live with elton john)
kim carnes bette davis eyes
neil diamond mr. bojangles
joshua kadison painted desert serenade
various artists perfect day ’97
patrick bruel place des grands hommes
prince sign ‚o‘ the times
billy joel new york state of mind
art garfunkel bright eyes
the beautiful south old red eyes is back
bruce springsteen thunder road
fine young cannibals as hard as it is
jovanotti penso positivo
the carpenters we’ve only just begun
lutz krajenski big band leaving on a jet plane
xavier naidoo sag es laut
simon & garfunkel wednesday morning, 3 am
james morrison i won’t let you go
u2 van diemen’s land
tracy chapman talkin‘ bout a revolution
plain white t’s hey there delilah
don mclean vincent
joe jackson steppin‘ out
dire straits romeo and juliet
simon & garfunkel a heart in new york
queen bohemian rhapsody
neil diamond everybody’s talkin‘
multiboy gentle on my mind
the housemartins think for a minute
dire straits brothers in arms
lisa loeb & nine stories stay
prince when doves cry (edit)
art garfunkel a heart in new york
herbert grönemeyer demo (letzter tag)
falco junge römer
alanis morissette thank u
bruce springsteen the river
marvin gaye what’s going on
sting if you love somebody set them free
james sit down
counting crows round here
the housemartins happy hour
u2 angel of harlem
adele someone like you
W. H. Auden – Funeral Blues (14.12.2011)
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Don’t Fall Into „Decision Quicksand.“ von The Happiness Project (Gretchen Rubin)
06.12.2011 … und ich bin ein satisficer
I’m always gratified when I learn that one of my Secrets of Adulthood reflects not merely my idiosyncratic experience, but also has some science behind it. For instance, one of my Secrets of Adulthood is: Most decisions don’t require extensive research. I came up with this Secret of Adulthood to remind myself not to squander my time and energy on decisions that don’t matter very much.
Over the weekend, I read a short piece about a study that showed that „Decisions that are complicated but trivial…cause an inordinate amount of wasted time and unhappiness.“ The researchers call this „decision quicksand“ because we can get sucked in, and drown, in these trivial choices.
Surprisingly often, I need to remind myself not to spend too much time on relatively unimportant decisions. Even though I don’t want to spend my time and energy this way, it takes a considerable amount of self-awareness and self-control to resist the temptation.
The satisficer/maximizer split seems relevant here. As Barry Schwartz explains in his fascinating book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less, there are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, „satisficers“ is a word) make a decision once their criteria are met; when they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision; even if they see a bicycle that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option.
Studies suggest that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. They find the research process exhausting, yet can’t let themselves settle for anything but the best.
I’m a satisficer, and I often felt guilty about not doing more research before making decisions. In law school, one friend interviewed with fifty law firms before she decided where she wanted to go as a summer associate; I think I interviewed with six. We ended up at the same firm. Once I learned to call myself a “satisficer,” I felt more satisfied with my approach to decision-making; instead of feeling lazy and unconscientious, I could call myself prudent. Now I can also remind myself not to get sucked into „decision quicksand“ for decisions that don’t deserve that much attention.
Do you find yourself spending too much time and energy on unimportant decisions? The internet can make this problem worse, because information seems so limitless.
let me google this for you: (cooles tool, gefunden im oktober 2011)
Things You Can Do On A 1 Day Vacation (19.10.2011)
Spend it with someone you love.
Read an entire book.
Practice something, anything.
Sleep, as much as you want.
Disconnect with all things electronic.
Reconnect with yourself.
Get something important done that has been on the back burner.
Go out to lunch with a friend.
Do something outdoors. Remind yourself that life is not contained in an office building.
Write letters to friends or relatives.
Go on a tour of your own city or town. Discover something new.
Reflect and write in your journal.
Go and see someone in person that you have been meaning to spend time with.
Start something. Take the 1st step on a new endeavor. You can’t finish if you don’t start.
Catch up. Some would say that this isn’t a vacation. But, sometimes you need to get out of the hole that you have dug for yourself.
Review your goals and dreams. This is something we often do not get to during the normal hustle of daily life.
doris knecht ist mein zwilling im vergessen (10.10.11)
(…) weil mein Gehirn zuverlässig auch den Inhalt von Jonathan Safran Foers Buch, wie den jeden anderen Buches, in zwei bis sechs Wochen gelöscht haben wird, und zwar vollständig. Ich kann mich daran erinnern, was ich ich bei der schriftlichen Matura anhatte, ich kann mich erinnern, dass die Doors liefen, als ich zum ersten Mal knutschte und weiß noch, wie ich meine Haare hatte, als ich den Langen zum ersten Mal sah, und was ich zu ihm sagte, und was er zu mir sagte. (Das ist leicht: gar nichts.) Aber ich habe den Inhalt jedes Buches vergessen, das ich meinem Leben gelesen habe. Das ist nicht gut, weil man mit dem Satz: „Ich hab es gelesen, weiß aber nicht mehr, worum es geht“ in Konversationen häufig Misstrauen weckt. (…)
Steve Jobs, the Grand Piano, Is Gone : The New Yorker (Nicholson Baker, October 7, 2011)
The other day, I ordered a new machine from Apple, and just before bed I went to the Apple Web site to check when it was going to ship. There, looking at me, instead of the normal welcome page announcing the latest mojo miracle of euphoric minimalism, was a man with round John Lennon glasses and an intense gaze and a close-cropped beard, photographed in black-and-white. It was Steve Jobs from some years ago, before he got sick. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, but I didn’t know what it was. To the left of the photograph, on this simple white screen—not an ounce of color on it anywhere—I saw his birth date: 1955. Then there was a hyphen, and then: 2011.
I was stricken. Everyone who cares about music and art and movies and heroic comebacks and rich rewards and being able to carry several kinds of infinity around in your shirt pocket is taken aback by this sudden huge vacuuming-out of a titanic presence from our lives. We’ve lost our techno-impresario and digital dream granter. Vladimir Nabokov once wrote, in a letter, that when he’d finished a novel he felt like a house after the movers had carried out the grand piano. That’s what it feels like to lose this world-historical personage. The grand piano is gone.
The next morning, I picked up my latecomer’s MacBook Pro—I’d bought it only this year, after more than two decades of struggling with and cursing at software from outside Apple’s fruitful orchard—and opened the aluminum top. I went to the Web site again, and there he was, still Steve, still looking at us. His fingers were in a sort of delicate pinch at his chin, in a pose that photographers like, because they want to see your hands. And the pose made sense, since one of the really noble things that Apple has done is to apply the ancient prehensile precision of pinching, sliding, or tapping fingers to screens and touch pads. Other companies had touch screens. Only Apple made them not seem ridiculous.
I saw Jobs just once, last year, at the first iPad unveiling, in San Francisco. A mass of tech journalists surged into the auditorium while, over the P.A. system, Bob Dylan sang “How does it feel?” The live-bloggers flipped open their laptops. Joshua Topolsky, who was then the head of Engadget, told me that this was bigger than the iPhone. “In a way, I would almost hate to be Apple right now,” he said.
Jobs was talking to Al Gore in the front row—Gore appeared to be, amazingly, chewing gum. Then the show began, and Steve went onstage, looking thin but fit, like some kind of aging vegan long-distance runner. He told us that so many millions of iPods had been sold and so many million people had visited the retail stores, with their blue-shirted Geniuses waiting to help you. He said it was kind of incredible, and it was—I found myself applauding joyfully and unjournalistically. And then came the announcement: “And we call it—the iPad.”
Immediately afterward, the carping began. Meh, the iPad wasn’t magical at all, it was just a big iPhone, the journalists said. One expert called it “D.O.A.”—disappointing on arrival. But it was a smash; people immediately began figuring out new ways to use this brilliant, slip-sliding rectangle of private joy.
When he was young, Jobs looked remarkably like James Taylor. When he was older and sick, his bluejeans hung off his body. Even so, I thought that he, like a true marathoner, was going to make it—make it to the iPhone 5, to the iPad 3. Instead, he died, too weak at the end, according to the Times, to walk up the stairs of his house.
But Jobs lived to see the Beatles on iTunes, to see Tim Cook, Apple’s new C.E.O., not muff the latest iPhone announcement, and then he left us on our own. He died absolutely the king of the world of talking to people who aren’t in the same room with you and of book reading when you don’t have a real book and of movie editing and of e-mail and of music distribution—the king of the world of making good things flow better. You have to love him.
Steve Jobs’s 2005 Stanford commencement address
In 2005, Apple and Pixar CEO Steve Jobs delivered the commencement address to graduating students at Stanford University. Here is the full text and video of his speech.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: „We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?“ They said: „Of course.“ My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents‘ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends‘ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: „If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.“ It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: „If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?“ And whenever the answer has been „No“ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.
This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others‘ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: „Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.“ It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
The List: Simon and Garfunkel’s greatest songs – Washington Times (September 2011)
September 19th marks the 30th anniversary of Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel´s reunion concert in Central Park. The concert in New York City was attended by an estimated 500,000. Mr. Simon and Mr. Garfunkel had broken up in 1970 after disagreements over their last (and most successful) album, “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” The New York City duo made five studio albums from 1964 to 1970. The List this weeks looks at the top 10 songs from those albums.
10. “Dangling Conversation”: This haunting song about broken love and failed communication reveals some of Mr. Simon’s best lyrics. “Couched in our indifference/Like shells upon the shore,” writes Mr. Simon. The song was later recorded by Joan Baez.
9. “Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M.”: The title song from the duo’s debut album is a simple and poignant folk song. While tragic and filled with the dread of what the morning may bring, the tune is also a touching love song.
8. “America”: An achingly beautiful story of a couple traveling across the United States by bus. The song appeared on the “Bookends” album. David Bowie sang a moving version of the song at the “Concert For New York City” after 9/11.
7. “I Am a Rock”: First recorded on “The Paul Simon Songbook” album in August 1965 in England, it was later rerecorded and appeared as the final track on the “Sounds of Silence” album in December 1965. The song was recorded by the British band the Hollies in 1966.
6. “Mrs. Robinson”: This was the duo’s second No. 1 hit. An early version appeared in the motion picture “The Graduate.” The complete song debuted on their album “Bookends” (1968) and earned the duo a Grammy for Record of the Year in 1969.
5. “Homeward Bound”: This folk song was written by Mr. Simon in the industrial town of Widness, near Liverpool, England, in 1965 while he was a solo performer. The song appeared on the “Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme” album in 1966.
4. “The Only Living Boy in New York”:Mr. Simon wrote this while Mr. Garfunkel was down in Mexico filming scenes for the film “Catch-22.” Mr. Simon felt abandoned as he worked on the “Bridge Over Troubled Water” album alone.
3. “The Boxer”: This was the first hit single from the “Bridge Over Troubled Water” album. The duo performed the missing verse at the Central Park concert. The lyrics from the verse, “After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same,” drew a large applause from the crowd, who associated it with the duo’s 12-year separation.
2. “Bridge Over Troubled Water”: This was from the eponymously titled album. Mr. Garfunkel’s voice range was truly tested with this song. Mr. Simon has acknowledged that while Mr. Garfunkel performed the song alone on the stage, he would stand in the wings thinking, “That’s my song, man.” The tune spent six weeks at No. 1, but the duo separated shortly afterward.
1. “The Sound Of Silence”: The remixed electric/acoustic version of the song started it all and propelled the singing duo to fame. The acoustic version appeared on “Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M.” in 1964. The overdubbed version, with electric guitar by Al Gorgoni, and without the knowledge or participation of Mr. Simon and Mr. Garfunkel, was rereleased as a single in September 1965. It reached No. 1 on New Year’s Day 1966. Mr. Simon sang the song at the recent 9/11 Memorial at ground zero.
Bonus track: “For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her”: This song didn’t make the Top Ten list, but it´s one of the duo’s best songs, with sublime synchronization of Mr. Simon’s lyrics and Mr. Garfunkel’s voice. The rock-funk band the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sarah McLachlan both produced excellent covers of the tune.
Compiled by John Haydon, who attended the Simon and Garfunkel reunion concert in Central Park in 1981.
Source: Wikipedia, http://www.rock.in.rs and The Washington Times.
31.08.2011 How To Make Friends – or At Least Think About It More Clearly (Michael Thompson, Lawrence Cohen and Catherine O’Neill)
According to these authors, the essential friendship skills are:
* The enjoyment of the company of others
* A capacity for reciprocity, turn taking, cooperation, and sharing
* Realistic, generally positive expectations that allow you to approach the world with confidence
* Problem-solving ability
* The ability to regulate aggressive impulses and other emotions
* The ability to read emotions, especially subtle and mixed emotions
* The ability to tolerate frustraton
* The ability to “hold others in mind” [to think lovingly about absent friends]
* Trust that others can and will hold you in mind
* Self-disclosure—the willingness and ability to show vulnerability
Here are 3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Send That Email (24.08.2011)
It Is Negative – A simple email rule that never gets followed: Never send a reprimand or negative comment via email. It will be taken the wrong way and create a bigger situation.
Email Is Forever – Whatever you write in an email is forever. It can and will come back to bite you.
It Is Not Personal – If you really want to connect with someone on an issue… reach out and touch them. Go see them. Your point will be that much more impactful.
sybille berg,, 23.08.2011
„Will man sich richtig in die Scheiße setzen, sollte man unbedingt etwas über Kinder schreiben. Es gibt außer im Computerbereich kaum ein Fachgebiet, in dem sich mehr Experten aufhalten und wo die Emotionen schneller eskalieren. Über das hochartifizielle Gebiet der Kinderzubereitung darf nur eine Meinung haben, wer seinem Gebärauftrag nachgekommen ist.“
süddeutsche, august 2011 – interview mit woody allen
Woody Allen: Ich wüsste im Ernst auch gar nicht, was ich tun sollte, wenn ich ein Jahr freinehmen würde.
SZ: Die meisten Menschen tun dann etwas, das sie „leben“ nennen.
Woody Allen: Aber was soll das heißen? Du stehst morgens auf. Du machst einen Spaziergang. Du guckst ein bisschen Fernsehen, du besuchst vielleicht ein Museum. Ich weiß, es gibt Menschen, die können das. Die gehen auch ganz früh in den Ruhestand, sobald sie genug Geld verdient haben. Und dann haben sie Spaß. Treffen ihre Freunde zum Mittagessen, spielen ein bisschen Golf. Sie haben diese beneidenswerte Gabe, das Leben zu genießen.
mindful of my expenses
Every time I take my cash out, use my credit card, or pay for something online, I should ask myself „is this expense aligned with what is most important to me?“ Am I buying a nutritious item or junk? Will this take time away from my workout? Will I sacrifice sleep to do this? Am I dipping into my savings? Sacrificing retirement saving? You get the point.
“What would you do differently if you thought you had enough?”
Quit my job
Quit striving for success
Spend time creating beautiful things: a happy relationship, a healthy body, a creative blog
Connect more with friends & make new friends
27.06.2011 Little Acts of Kindness – (From the December 2000 issue of O)
Say „Good morning“ to a person standing next to you in the elevator.
Pay the toll for the driver behind you.
Take a minute to direct someone who is lost, even though you’re rushing.
Write a letter to a child who could use some extra attention. Kids love getting mail.
Help a mother carry her baby stroller up the subway stairs, or hold a door open for her.
Each time you get a new item of clothing, give away something old.
Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend.
Say „please“ and „thank you“—and really mean it.
When you’re on a crowded train or bus, offer your seat to an elderly, disabled or pregnant person.
Don’t interrupt when someone is explaining herself.
Let a fellow driver merge into your lane.
Listen with all your senses.
Write a note to the boss of someone who helps you, and explain how great a job that person is doing.
Simply say „I’m sorry“ when you’re wrong.
Throw away your trash—and someone else’s—after a movie, picnic or visit to a park.
Ask someone „How are you really doing?“—and then really listen to her response.
Offer change when the person in front of you at the register comes up short.
Pass along a great book you’ve just finished reading.
25.06.2011 – The 6 Horizons of Focus – David Allen discusses the 6 Horizons of Focus
Aside from the fact that the volume of what people need to organize is often light-years beyond what they imagine, there is much more to getting a grip on your “work” than most realize. Managing the flow of work can be approached from many altitudes, as there are many different levels of defining what your “work” really is. Whereas we may have some lower levels in control, there are often incomplete and unclear issues at higher levels that can and need to be addressed, to really get it all under control. And often there are issues about the nature and volume of work that cannot be resolved viewing it from an inappropriate level. We have roughly categorized “work” into six levels, or horizons of focus.
This is admittedly a somewhat arbitrary delineation, but it has proven valuable for many clients to frame their conversations, questions, and issues within this context. We use an airplane model:
Runway: This is the ground floor – the huge volume of actions and information you currently have to do and to organize, including emails, calls, memos, errands, stuff to read, stuff to file, things to talk to staff about, etc. If you got no further input in your life, this would likely take you 300-500 hours to finish. Just getting a complete and current inventory of the next actions required at this level is quite a feat.
10,000 level: This is the inventory of your projects – all the things that you have commitments to finish, that take more than one action step to complete. These “open loops” are what create most of your actions. These projects include anything from “look into having a birthday party for Susan” to “buy Acme Brick Co.” Most people have between 30 and 100 of these. If you were to fully and accurately define this list, it would undoubtedly generate many more and different actions than you currently have identified.
20,000 level: What’s your job? Driving the creation of a lot of your projects are the four to seven major areas of responsibility that you at least implicitly are going to be held accountable to have done well, at the end of some time period, by yourself if not by someone else (e.g. boss.) With a clear and current evaluation of what those areas or responsibility are, and what you are (and are not) doing about them, there are likely new projects to be created, and old ones to be eliminated.
30,000 level: Where is your job going? What will the role you’re in right now be looking like 12-18 months from now, based on your goals and on the directions of the changes at that level? We’ve met very few people who are doing only what they were hired to do. These days, job descriptions are moving targets. You may be personally changing what you’re doing, given personal goals; and the job itself may need to look different, given the shifting nature of the work at the departmental or divisional level. Getting this level clear always creates some new projects and actions.
40,000 level: The goals and direction of the larger entity within which you operate heavily influence your job and your professional direction. Where is your company going to be, one to three years from now? How will that be affecting the scope and scale of your job, your department, and your division? What external factors (like technology) are influencing the changes? How is the definition and relationship with your customers going to be changing, etc.? Thinking at this level invariably surfaces some projects that need to be defined, and new action steps to move them forward.
50,000 level: What is the work you are here to do on the planet, with your life? This is the ultimate bigger picture discussion. Is this the job you want? Is this the lifestyle you want? Are you operating within the context of your real values, etc.? From an organizational perspective, this is the Purpose and Vision discussion. Why does it exist? No matter how organized you may get, if you are not spending enough time with your family, your health, your spiritual life, etc., you will still have “incompletes” to deal with, make decisions about, and have projects and actions about, to get completely clear.
23.06.2011 – THE PRESENT
it is dissolving
as you read this
erupt under your feet
fill each one
your heart beats
can you believe it
your body coaxes
that you will
spend the offering
23.06.2011 Unclutter your emotions and time by giving others the benefit of the doubt (by Erin Doland)
A couple months ago, I was at the pharmacy picking up a medication for my son because he had a truly disgusting sinus infection. I had him in a stroller because I didn’t trust him to keep his bug-ridden hands to himself and because a 22-month old loose in a pharmacy is rarely a good idea (especially one who enjoys impersonating a tornado).
While we were waiting on the prescription to be filled, a woman came up to me and told me that my son was “too big to be in a stroller” and if “I knew how to properly control him” I wouldn’t need to use it. I didn’t know this woman, I hadn’t even made eye contact with her, and I certainly wasn’t wearing a t-shirt that said, “Please critique my parenting choices.” Irrespective of this, she still felt the need to reprimand me for using a stroller.
I thought about lying and saying that my son had polio or a congenital spinal deformity in an attempt to make her feel guilty for being rude to me, but I didn’t. Instead, I simply offered up my son’s snotty hand and said she was welcome to walk around with him while we waited. She declined.
This is by no means the first time I have been chastised by total strangers for raising my child differently than how they think I should. And, I’m doubting it will be the last.
It has been a wonderful reminder to me, however, to not clutter up my time worrying about what other people are doing as long as they’re not actually injuring themselves or others, putting another person or themselves in harm’s way, or violating another person’s rights.
As annoyed as I might be by a person driving a few miles below the speed limit, I just assume there is a reason and give the person the benefit of the doubt. As irksome as it is when someone’s cell phone rings in a movie theater, I just assume it must be an emergency and go back to enjoying the film. If I see a tall child in a stroller, I know the kid is safe and don’t let it bother me. Not letting these minor frustrations get to me frees up my emotions and time to focus on things I enjoy and want to do.
There are only 24 hours in a day, and I have decided not to fill that time being frustrated by other people and negative situations that are out of my control (again, assuming nothing really bad is occurring). I barely have the energy to do all of the things I want to do, and giving people the benefit of the doubt helps me to stay in control of my emotions and time.
In light of practicing what I preach, from this point forward I’m just going to assume that the woman who criticized me about having my son in a stroller was having a bad day. She likely felt the need to yell at me because someone had probably screamed at her. I ended up getting a good reminder out of the situation (give people the benefit of the doubt) and an introduction for a post (this one), so at least a couple good things came from the tongue lashing.
21.06.2011 – How to Take Your Relationship from Ho-Hum to Happy Ever After (tess marshal)
Surprise each other. Secretly plan a weekend getaway, purchase concert tickets, flowers or favorite foods. Do the unexpected. It keeps things interesting.
Go to bed together. The message you give each other is I want to be with you. I want to make love to you. Or I simply want to hold you while you fall asleep. Doing so creates a ritual for a life time. Avoid keeping electronics in your bedroom. It’s a distraction from intimacy.
Establish common interests. It will strengthen your friendship. Create and enjoy good times. Value your weekends. Take cooking lessons or dance class together. Learn to garden, bike or walk together.
Maintain boundaries. You need friends and interests of your own. Independence and individuality keeps life interesting. You can’t get all of your needs met by one person. Never.
Compromise. This allows couples to be open minded, positive and calm when discussing each other’s opinions and desires. Practice compromising with small things such as restaurants, music and movies.
Spend time in nature together. The beach, the woods, the ocean, or a favorite park are place you can go for relaxation and renewal. Nature rejuvenates and heals.
Use your manners. Help her do dishes. Scoop out his ice cream. Treat each other like company. Make things special for each other. Ask your partner “Is there something I can do for you?” Say please, thank you and excuse me regularly.
Eat together. Happy couples treat each other as if they are the most important person in the world. Be personally interested in one another’s day. Sit together at least 20 minutes at dinner time. Don’t bring your phone to the dinner table.
Speak up. Don’t expect your partner to know what’s going on inside your head. Learn to raise an issue in a clear and calm manner. Watch your intention and tone. Express your needs.
Respect each other. Be kind and honor each other. Genuinely praise each other once a day for one week. Repeat this until it becomes a lifelong habit. Never belittle each other. It’s painful and causes resentment.
Touch. Greet each other with a hug and kiss first thing in the morning and at the end of the working day. Cuddle, play, hold hands, give massages, hugs, and a pat on the back or a touch on an arm.
Tolerate each other’s annoying habits. A poor attitude is believing, “If only my partner were slimmer, richer or funnier we wouldn’t have problems.”
Apologize. Our ego wants us to believe if we apologize we lose and the other person wins. Take the higher road. An apology means, I’m human, I made a mistake. State how you will change your behavior the next time.
Avoid debt. Money is the number one reason for divorce. Create and agree on a budget together. Be honest. Don’t hide purchases from each other. Spending more than you make will keep you arguing, stressed and distant from each other.
Remind yourself why you fell in love. Focus on the good in each other. Take your own personal inventory.
Forgive daily, let past mistakes go. Refuse to discuss old resolved issues. Bringing up past errors will eventually ruin the relationship. Drop the story about the past.
Pay attention to each other. Spending too much time on a computer, watching excessive television or regularly working late signals disinterest in one another. Distance is a silent killer. Interrupt these patterns with spontaneous fun and adventure. Interrupt old patterns with fun and play.
Be honest. Dr. Phil says “If you wouldn’t do something with your spouse standing right there watching, it’s probably inappropriate behavior.”
09.06.2011 fronkreisch tips für kristian davidek
ich habe ein bisschen rumüberlegt, denke aber, dass die dinge, die uns super gefallen, gar nicht so „geheim“ oder insider-mässig sind. daher hier nur kurz meine lieblingsorte im süden fronkreischs, die da wären:
menton – direkt an der grenze zu italien – quasi der erste französische ort
nizza – immer wieder gerne und besonders der friedhof am hügel oben ist unbedingt einen besuch wert.
aix-en-provence – dort finde ich es immer schön, auch ohne konkrete tipps.
saignon (oben am berg mit kurzem spaziergang zu aussichtsplattform am berg mit blick in die ganze landschaft) – dort vor der auberge du presbytére einen kaffee trinken und den hübschen platz „place de la fontaine“ genießen.
marseille – mein lieblingsplatz ist der parallel zur hafenstrasse, wo in den 80ern eine riesige hässliche parkgarage stand und aufgrund einer bürgerinitiative abgerissen wurde. (cours d’estienne d’orves). dort gibt es ein restaurant mit buchgeschäft. es lohnt sich, die vielen verschiedenen postkästchen im hauseingang anzusehen.
st. remys-en-provence – meine lieblingsbilder malt jean michel espinasse, er hat eine gallerie in 3, rue de la commune / interessante accessoires finden sich im déco café (2 av de la liberation), wo man auch eine kleinigkeit essen kann.
07.06.11 – S.P.O.N. – Fragen Sie Frau Sibylle: Wenn Frauen an sich selbst scheitern
Warum muss, was einmal als Liebe begann, immer in Form schweigender alter Paare an Restaurant-Tischen enden? Diese Angst treibt vor allem Frauen um, die denken, dass Reden und Sex – besser gesagt: viel reden und viel Sex – alles sind, was eine Beziehung ausmacht. Paare müssen quatschen, unentwegt. Auch nachdem die für Verblödung zuständigen Hormone ihren Einfluss verloren haben, muss gelabert werden, was das Zeug hält. Das triste Restaurant, im Sonnenlicht, da sitzt ein modernes, lebendiges Paar und redet ohne Pause. Immer wenn ich Speisekarten lese“, würde sie sagen, „denke ich an den lyrischen Imperativ.“ „Ja“, würde er erregt ausstoßen, „Žižek, ich denke an Žižek, manchmal auch an Lacan.“ Dann würden die beiden über die Wandfarbe (Rot im hegemonischen Diskurs ganz weit oben) zu ihren Gefühlen gelangen und über ihre Beziehung reden. Der Mann – ich schreibe, weil ich mich mit homosexuellen Stereotypen nicht auskenne, von Heteros – ist natürlich größer als sie, dunkelhaarig und schlauer. Ja, ein bisschen schlauer muss schon, und mehr Geld soll er auch haben, weil er ist ja der Mann. Die große Panik vor dem angenehmen Schweigen von Paaren haben meist junge Frauen, die auch gerne gute Beziehungsgespräche führen wollen, am frühen Morgen, und der Mann sollte ihnen mit Blumen zeigen, dass er an sie denkt. Frauen hungern freiwillig und plappern vor sich hin: Ja, das ist doch unästhetisch sonst, sie übernehmen ohne jedes Hinterfragen die Kriterien des Marketings und überprüfen ihr Aussehen panisch, sie wollen gefallen. Ja – man muss doch begehrenswert sein, allein dieser Satz langte für eine tüchtige Tracht Prügel, sie sprechen mit hohen Stimmen, sie machen sich über Frauen lustig, die sich gehenlassen, sie finden Mutter zu sein die höchste Aufgabe im Leben einer Frau und bitte doch natürlich, die Geburt, schön weh soll es tun, schön bestrafen wollen wir uns, wenn wir uns schon nicht mehr beschneiden. Wussten Sie, dass die meisten Frauen allein sind, weil sie an ihren seltsamen Kriterien in der Partnersuche scheitern? Wussten Sie, dass viele Frauen generell an sich scheitern? Gleichberechtigung hört bei der Partnerwahl auf, kaum eine Frau heiratet einen zehn Jahre jüngeren einfältigen, aber hübschen Loser, wie Männer das gerne tun, weil es ihnen das gute Gefühl der Überlegenheit gibt, auf das Frauen freiwillig verzichten. Und da sitzen sie dann an Restaurant-Tischen und reden um des Redens willen, schütteln die Mähne und verhalten sich deckungsgleich mit den Bildern in ihren Köpfen, die aus blöden Filmen stammen. Wild muss seine Liebe sein, leidenschaftlich, Sex muss sein, aber viel und verrückt, und geredet muss werden, mit Torben, dem Manager, dass sich die Balken biegen. Ein gutes Gespräch ist, wenn keine Ruhe eintritt. Von sich entfremdet sitzen Torben und Jasmin, sie quatschen, als gäbe es kein Morgen, und sie werden sich wundern, wenn sie sich auseinanderleben, was sie dann bei der Scheidung angeben werden. Sie haben nie zusammengelebt, nie Ruhe ausgehalten, nie kennengelernt, wie angenehm es ist, bei sich zu sein, und den anderen mit Liebe anzusehen, auch wenn der Geschlechtsverkehr nicht mehr stattfindet, auch wenn Ruhe herrscht im Karton. Machen Sie sich also keine Gedanken, Ihre Frage nach dem Schweigen alter Paare offenbart eine Geisteshaltung, die es zuverlässig verhindern wird, dass Sie je Teil eines alten Paares sein werden.
05.06.2011 – The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
01.06.2011 Wer mit den Hühnern aufsteht, braucht kein Nightlife (die zeit)
Sind die landlustigen Städter in ihrer neuen Umgebung angekommen, machen sie interessante Erfahrungen – nicht unbedingt solche, die ihren Erwartungen entsprechen. Wir haben einigen Umsiedlern einen Fragebogen vorgelegt mit der Bitte um freimütige Auskunft. Die Antworten sind nicht repräsentativ, aber aufschlussreich.
Welche Kulturangebote gibt es bei Ihnen?
»Feuerwehrübungen, Kaninchenverein, Bumsfallera.« – »Diverse Chöre, Zeltdisco.« – »Theatergruppe (wir spielen uns immer selbst).« – »Kurzzeitig gab es eine Kneipe mit Tanzsaal, danach einen Pizza-Lieferservice. Hat sich alles nicht gehalten.«
Wie steht es um das Nachtleben?
»Ab 20 Uhr ist hier alles hochgeklappt.« – »Gellend schreiende Kühe und Autobahn.« – »Ab und zu wird eingebrochen.« – »Wer mit den Hühnern aufsteht, braucht kein Nightlife.«
Was ist über die Lokalzeitung zu sagen?
»Besser gar nichts.« – »Kannste in die Tonne kloppen.« – »Lese ich nicht, aber die Süddeutsche kommt immer zu spät.«
Was stört Sie am meisten auf dem Land?
»Langsamkeit.« – »Stechmücken.« – »Biogasanlagen, Windräder « – »Kötergebell, Traktoren.«
Was fehlt Ihnen auf dem Land?
»Kino, Post, Bank, Studenten, Freaks.« – »Mal eben zu Fuß zum Einkaufen gehen.«
Welche Rolle spielt das Autofahren?
»Wichtig, da nach 18 Uhr keine Busse mehr fahren.« – »Häufige Todesart. Kreuze säumen die Landstraßen.«
Ein typisches Land-Erlebnis?
»Zwei Autofahrer kommen sich auf einem Feldweg entgegen. Einer weicht nicht aus. Außenspiegel kaputt.«
28.01.2011 – 10 awesome but impolite email filters by http://thenextweb.com/author/boris/
Delete on CC or BCC
Most emails you get that have your address in the CC are mostly just FYI. 90% of those you can safely ignore. If it would have been really important they would have emailed you directly. I once knew a guy who filtered all email that had him in the CC to a separate folder which he simply ignored. I wish I could do the same but don’t feel comfortable doing it. I know I would miss out on that 10% that is actually important. Still, one can dream.
Fwd: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Re: Re: Re: HILARIOUS!!!
As soon as the subject of an email looks anything like the title here you know what to expect: an email a mile long, probably from a family member you don’t even like, with some kind of funny image from 1998. The email will contain the emailaddresses and names of everybody who forwarded it before you. I guess this would be a fairly easy filter to set-up. If subject contains more than 3 exclamation marks, filter to trash.
Bounce all From = hotmail.com
Hotmail is a great service and used to be the coolest email to have. Okay, for the the first 6 months of 1996 when they launched (yeah, 14 years ago!). If you are still using Hotmail you are either 65+, a schoolgirl or just not someone I want to do business with. Well, that is my first instinct when I see a hotmail address. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I would just auto reply to every hotmail.com address with the following illustration:
All questions that can be answered with a Google search
Some people think it is easier to email me with a question than to browse through 10 google search requests. And it is. But it also means I’m doing your work. Before you email me ask yourself if there isn’t a way to ask that question on Google. Or, if you aren’t sure about it why not ask me on Twitter? I can either ignore you there, or retweet your question so one of my followers can answer you. Pretty tough to setup a filter for this one though.
よ脚美 недр お知ら
I admit that this is actually more a SPAM filter issue, but I have no idea what those characters mean and the only characters I understand are basically the roman alphabet. Anything not written with that is unreadable so might as well go straight to the trash bin. The same goes for Spanish, German, French and pretty much any other language besides Dutch and English. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could set-up a simple auto-reply to all those languages you don’t speak:
“I’m sorry but all I speak is English and Dutch. Please resend your message in one of those languages, or if you were spamming me, please die. Have a great day!”
I would be very happy to filter any email that contains the word ‘Newsletter’ to a separate folder. No need to delete them right away but just stow away out of sight. Should be easy to do and save me a lot of work. And I know, you could simply unsubscribe to all those newsletter, but you know how that works; a small percentage has a ‘one-click-unsubscribe’ link, but the others force you to come up with your login details (which you forgot) or at least your email address, which you then have to go find in the headers of the newsletter because you have no idea which one you used to sign up with. Just deleting them is easier.
I admit that I got this one done already. I switched off all notifications from Linkedin, Facebook, Twitter, Quora and all the other cool services that insist on notifying you whenever someone farts in close proximity to your online profile.
If I’m in the mood for that I will just head over to their websites (or fire up their iPhone apps) and check out what is happening. No need to flood my inbox with all that shit.
06.01.2011 twitters von ceoSteveJobs Steve Jobs
We have created for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology. Introducing the Mac App Store. 6 Jan.
The next iPhone update includes several autocorrection fixes. For instance, typing „Android“ will autocorrect to „hemorrhoid.“ 5 Jan.
Please stop calling it the iPad 2. it’s not. It’s the iPad 1GS. GS for Goldman Sachs. 5 Jan.
You’re setting it wrong. 3 Jan.
Apple Stores will open on a two-hour delay tomorrow to let employees sleep in. This is in no way related to the iPhone alarm clock glitch. 3 Jan.
Sorry about the iPhone alarm glitch. We had absolutely no way to prepare for 2011. 2 Jan.
Bought my daughters two of those rare Steve Jobs action figures for Christmas. Well, they’re rare now. 1 Jan.
Appy new year. 1 Jan.
Hanging iPod socks by the chimney with care. 5 Jan.
Please don’t wish me ‚Merry Christmas.‘ I’m Buddhist. 4 Jan.
Yo Zuck, I’m really happy for you, I’mma let you finish, but I clearly shoulda been Person of the Year. 17 Dez
Decorating the Christmas tree with iPod nanos. 30 Nov.
iPhone 4. This changes everything. Except the time. 7 Nov.
Woke up late. Stupid iPhone. Stupid Daylight Saving Time. 7 Nov.
I dressed as Moses for Halloween and used two iPads as tablets. „Thou shalt not steal music.“ 1 Nov.
No flash for you. 22 Okt.
Give Ping a chance. 3 Okt.
Good thing you didn’t actually read the legal agreement for iTunes. Or should I say, iownyoursoulTunes? 2 Okt.
Every Apple fan must visit the Fifth Avenue store at least once in his or her lifetime if they are able to do so. 25 Sept.
Apple’s new AA battery charger: This is going to charge everything. All over again. 5 Jan.
President Schwarzenegger. Paris Hilton’s Nobel Prize. Saturday Morning Live. Landing on the sun. The white iPhone. 3 Sept.
Just opened another worship center in London. 6 Aug.
I dropped three calls today on my iPhone. #PostSecret 5 Aug.
Control the music industry? Check. Control the publishing industry? Check. Control-alt-delete? Never. 5 Jan.
We never landed on the moon. The Titanic never sank. AT&T never drops calls. 5 Jan.
Hmm… Turtleneck or turtleneck? 23 Juli
iOS4 introduces multitasking, folders, books, mail and spell checking. Everything you’ve had in your office for years. 21 Juni
Gore: Global warming. Bono: Famine. Teresa: Poverty. Jobs: Pornography. 9 Juni
Jony Ive wore the same shirt for every product launch this decade. So what? http://bit.ly/9m4DoN 8 Juni
I renamed my iPod ‚The Titanic.‘ Now when I plug it in, iTunes tells me ‚The Titanic is syncing.‘ 2 Juni
Spoke with my son today. Turns out the apple fell far from the tree. 1 Juni
Life is like an iPad. It may seem flat at times and too big to handle, but it will always turn around when you least expect it. 28 Mai
My parents were the ultimate early adopters. 28 Mai
Starting tomorrow we’ll be tying bungee cords to Foxconn workers when they clock in. Just in case. 27 Mai
Starting this summer, porn will be blocked from all Mac browsers. If you want smut, use Windows. 21 Mai
AT&T just dropped my call… That’s it. We’re officially dropping exclusivity in the U.S. 11 Mai
Apple killed the floppy disk, the trackball, the stylus and the Walkman. Flash will be dead within a year. 9 Mai
Buying the iPad without 3G is like buying a car without tires. Sure it works, but will it get you anywhere? 30 Apr.